Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Alas, Poor Yorick, You Used to Be Good at Your Job

Hey, I've got some great profit-making ideas. Based on some recent information about adult competencies, I've uncovered some cost savings ideas and a competitive advantage...but only if my company and my competitors are in the US.

If you want to save some money, leave food longer in the vending machines. Apparently, we have trouble figuring out expiration dates. Also, our employees have trouble calculating mileage reimbursements. Hopefully, in our favor. If so, then we'll save money here too.

And here's the competitive advantage: flood your competitors' staffs with emails. They will have trouble sorting through their emails.

However, if your business has problems (and who doesn't), especially if they require some math to solve, we are better off outsourcing these efforts to Finland, Japan and Slovakia. (But not to Spain nor Poland; they are just slightly worse than we are.) How'd we get so bad? We practically invented email, mileage reimbursement and quite a few of the problem-solving techniques and methodologies.

We used to be good at this, if not the best. I think we then got complacent and everyone else surpassed us. Alas, we used to be able to efficiently run our business but now we're being managed and run and operated by people who can't figure out their expenses and who can't tell spam from a critical and urgent email. (Maybe when we send those critical, urgent emails, we can't figure out how to provide a clue either.) Alas, alas, we are poor Yorick, the court jester who everyone else in the world finds amusing.

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